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Disagreeing with family and friends

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  • Disagreeing with family and friends

    We've become so polarized as a nation that it seems like we can't talk anymore unless we agree politically. I feel very strongly that healthcare is a basic human right, for example, and a friend I've known since the 7th grade does not. I feel like I can listen to his point of view and respect our differences, but the fact that I'm a "liberal commy" drives him crazy. If I even slightly disagree with my dad, we don't talk for weeks (oh well. LOL).

    I feel like it's hard to have a conversation and voice any opinion at all anymore without risking losing friendships. How do you guys do it?

    Kris


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

  • #2
    Honestly, I just don't discuss it. I know what's important to me, and I feel like very rarely does anything I say or think change anybody else's mind, so why bother discussing it, especially because so many people are just downright ugly if you disagree with them. It's disappointing that we can't talk rationally, but it is what it is.
    Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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    • #3
      With social media though, people are very openly putting their views out there. I have liked someone's political post only to have a friend see that and message me. I guess if someone says that if a person is too poor to afford insurance and deserves what they get, I just can't help myself. If someone puts it out there, it's fair game. I should just shut up though.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #4
        It's tough. I don't discuss politics with my friends in real life and I'm glad most don't actively post about it on FB. I generally don't either because I live in Trump country and I hate conflict.
        I think if a friend started posting extreme points of view (from either side of the political spectrum), it would definitely change my opinion of them and it has in one or two cases.
        I recently read a study that showed that FB is a very accurate representation of most people's personalities. I find this both fascinating and terrifying

        Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk
        Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
        Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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        • #5
          Originally posted by PrincessFiona View Post
          With social media though, people are very openly putting their views out there. I have liked someone's political post only to have a friend see that and message me. I guess if someone says that if a person is too poor to afford insurance and deserves what they get, I just can't help myself. If someone puts it out there, it's fair game. I should just shut up though.


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
          I have a tendency to just hide those people from my feed.
          Allison - professor; wife to a urology attending; mom to baby girl E (11/13), baby boy C (2/16), and a spoiled cat; knitter and hoarder of yarn; photographer

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          • #6
            Part of me welcomes a discussion so that I can understand their perspective and perhaps they can understand mine. Things have gotten so icky though that I did start hiding people. I started feeling discouraged about political discourse in general and his dems and republicans for awhile. All I had left was people bragging about their home-schooled 14 year olds getting accepted at 17 universities. I tried walking away from FB but I'm addicted. I wish we. Hold all just listen to each other and try to understand. It just won't happen.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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            • #7
              It depends on the friend. Some old friends and I know we have these disagreements, and we go at it wholeheartedly and without any ill will. Others, and generally family, we just steer clear of the hot button issues. It's unfortunate, but I'm not sure it's a new phenomenon. Remember the Happy Days episode where Richie and Fonzie are at odds because of Stevenson and Eisenhower ("my bike likes Ike")?
              Enabler of DW and 5 kids
              Let's go Mets!

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              • #8
                Honestly, I just don't discuss it. I know what's important to me, and I feel like very rarely does anything I say or think change anybody else's mind, so why bother discussing it, especially because so many people are just downright ugly if you disagree with them. It's disappointing that we can't talk rationally, but it is what it is.
                This. And I just don't think the internet is a great medium for that sort of discussion anyway. It rarely goes well and often goes horrifically.
                Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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                • #9
                  I don't discuss IRL except with Todd or my coworker. Even then it's not philosophical conversations, but more along annoyed remarks we agree on. I do hide overly political FB posters, even some of my own family. I pick up people's energy easily so I need healthy emotional boundaries. At home I try to set a healthy example of discussing different viewpoints, but my kids aren't really there yet. Their worlds are still very immediate. I love FB, but if I didn't have all the foodie feeds and video recipes and fainting goat videos I'd probably look at it a lot less.
                  -Ladybug

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                  • #10
                    I occasionally discuss politics with friends and never family. Both my parents and ILs are avid Orange supporters. Unless I'm willing to cut off kids from their grandparents, it's best to stick to neutral topics.

                    Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

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                    • #11
                      I occasionally discussed politics with friends and family but what was surprising to me was when I posted about the whole bend the knee thing and the only people in conversation was the woman from my bible study.
                      Nobody else intervened or gave their opinions. Also, I can't just not discuss it either. Especially when I'm the only Hispanic one in our circle of friends. I can't sit back while other have this idea that it so simple to become an American citizen or even when we sit down and talk about our bible study. I'm different from them from a cultural standpoint and first American generation here. Sometimes I feel like an outside or outcast but I've learned to stay positive and talk with everyone


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                      wife to PGY1 GS and two little girls, and 1 annoying dog

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