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Finding Childcare

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  • #1

    Finding Childcare

    The whole work thing. Not working out. The office manager (unbeknownst to me) started filling out my fall schedule with kiddos who have appointments at 5 and 6 pm. This is after I told her that I didn't want to see people after 4. She just had trouble saying "no". Beside the fact that now we are going to be unscheduling these people because I Can't. Do. It. anymore (why should I care about your kid and their issues when I should be at home with my kid?) I'm screwed with an afternoon ride. I've tried sourcing the local teenagers as well as care.com. I have No. One. to pick my kids up after school in the fall. Not a soul. For the first 8 weeks of school, they have soccer and need to be picked up at 5 pm at the school. After that, they ride the bus home and then there is a 45 minute walk from the bus stop where they are let off. I haven't contacted other parents yet about carpooling, but I'm not sure what I can offer. Mornings? How will I get my people up before dark and into the car?

    I'm so frustrated. I'm ready to quit my job (just another reason to be done with it.) At a meeting yesterday, I asked for the week of 4th of July off next summer because my kids don't have activities during that week. My boss literally told me that my kids are too old to be in activities and what were we exactly missing during that week? I explained that they are in soccer and she looked skeptical. Hell, Aidan was just invited to try out for the Olympic Development team by someone who came out to scout the kids. My kids aren't itty bitty but they still need me.

    I just can't manage this work/mom thing. Anyone know any pimps willing to use my body to pay for my student loans?

    Kris
    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
    Tags: None
  • #2
    You pay out the nose for people to run them around. My coworkers with kids your kids age find that community college kids who take morning classes are good. Of course that comes with a whole host of other issues...I used to steal cigarettes from my "nannies" at 13.

    Your boss' response is ridiculous. Plenty of kids are on teams or have extracurriculars. Hasn't she ever heard of kids needing to fill out college resumes?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
    Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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    • #3
      Thomas insists that all childcare costs come out of my pocket since I "chose" to go back to school. I literally get paid and my entire check is wiped out. I booked 3-4 out of my schedule to leave and pick up kids. Now I have no choice but to add late hours. I'm going to contact a med spouse mom I know about picking up after soccer. Why the fuck did I go back to school? Sigh. This will be a 10-year clusterfuck.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #4
        I had a week off this month. I had to take cash from my credit card to pay my student loan.


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
        ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
        ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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        • #5
          Originally posted by PrincessFiona View Post
          I had a week off this month. I had to take cash from my credit card to pay my student loan.


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
          This isn't helpful, but I'm trying to gather some clarity -- why is he "punishing" you in this weird parent/child-esque relationship dynamic? You are his partner, I don't understand his thinking.
          Wife to Family Medicine attending, Mom to DS1 and DS2
          Professional Relocation Specialist &
          "The Official IMSN Enabler"

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          • #6
            Because he has his own financial responsibilities and it was "my choice" to go back to school. When he found out I used my cc, he freaked and said he would have helped


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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            • #7
              So he pays his own med school loans and you pay your school loans? Is that what you mean by "his own responsibilities"?

              Can you pool all your resources and then pay from that?

              Is he going to pay you a salary if you stop working to drive the kids around? I don't understand why you have to pay for all the kids stuff.


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
              Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
              Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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              • #8
                He has no loans. It's complicated.


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                • #9
                  I jump through a hundred hoops to work a few days a month. It's absolutely ridiculous. Unless we get some sort of live-in help (like au pair), I can't fathom working any more than that.

                  Can you present the case to Thomas in terms of showing your daughters that there's more to a woman's life that being at beck and call to her family's needs?

                  Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

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                  • #10
                    We went out tonight. He listened to me and told me to quit. He said he'll figure out the $.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                    ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                    ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                    • #11
                      I'm so sorry Kris. I wish I had some good advice, I just wish Thomas would realize that marriage = combined finances, especially when you have five children together.
                      Luanne
                      wife, mother, nurse practitioner

                      "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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                      • #12
                        That's a huge step in the right direction. I hope you can quit!
                        Student and Mom to an Oct 2013 boy
                        Wife to Anesthesia Critical Care attending

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                        • #13
                          That is good! You need to quit and he needs to work with you. Hugs


                          Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
                          Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                          • #14
                            Well, but this involves a job at someplace like Target.


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                            ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
                            ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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                            • #15
                              He wants you to quit and get a job at Target, and also somehow help with "your" financial responsibilities? I'm trying to understand.

                              Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

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