Sports specialization

[spotty_dog]

Gosh, my baby boy is 9.5, this might almost fit in Tweens and Teens! I'll keep it here in School-aged though.

So, a couple of weeks ago an acquaintance on Facebook posted this article: http://www.cleveland.com/dman/index....s_andrews.html

Intrigued, I checked out the book mentioned in the interview, Any Given Monday, as well as another one that turned up in the same catalog search, 101 Ways to be a Terrific Sports Parent.

The statistics in Andrews' book are kind of alarming -- he particularly has a lot to say about the increase of injuries that young female athletes are seeing, like having a higher incidence of ruptured ACL in soccer than in male players, or their susceptibility to the "female triad" (anorexia, amennorhea, and osteoporosis). He recommends the website http://www.stopsportsinjuries.org/ST...Resources.aspx from the American Orthopaedic Society for Sports Medicine as a companion to his book.

Fish's book is more about the emotional aspects. How to handle sibling issues, competitiveness, choosing the best coach (you can CHOOSE coaches in some communities?! LOL.) It discourages specialization but discusses how to handle it safely if you must.

So, my take-away is not to specialize 100% until the late teens, or maybe not until college. When the child starts to hone in on a few particular activities, make sure you enforce a 2-3 month break each year from that sport and anything with ergonomically similar movements. Pay attention to conditioning (don't jump straight back into full-intensity practice after the off season) and stretching. And don't get suckered into thinking more is better at a young age, in terms of intense practices or skill-specific training -- it's the opposite.

All this leads me to think that we will not be doing Select soccer this year, or possibly not before middle school. It's more than I want to commit to, and a full summer of practices and tournaments followed by fall season practice and games, especially this year when he's already in the throes of spring season, is just too much. He's going to be disappointed because he really loves the sport and is truly improving and loves a challenge. But we've been talking about overspecialization, cross-training, and striking that balance of having fun and trying out all the things while you're young, and he's down with it.

I guess I wonder, do you feel pressure socially or from your child to focus on one sport or to be all-in with the sports you do? I have a Facebook friend whose 8-year-old mopes during the few weeks between ice hockey and field hockey, and he is a pretty spirited kid so I can't imagine what would happen if she tried to enforce a no-hockey season! Alternately, do you feel like overscheduling has overwhelmed your life -- or do you push back against it by not doing organized sports at this age at all?

[JaneDoe]

My dd (12) does competitive soccer, which as you probably know, is year around. She is an excellent all-around athlete and has excelled in almost every sport she has tried. In the past several years, she has regularly done track and basketball in addition to soccer. I am trying my best to keep her in multiple sports because I believe it is healthier than to focus on one single sport. This past winter was the first season that she did not play basketball. I tried to convince she should do it, but she just didn't want to and ultimately, it's her decision. She still does track and seems to really enjoy it, though not as much as soccer. So, I am doing my best to keep her from specializing in a single sport, but it's getting more difficult to prevent primarily due to HER interests.

Dh and I love to watch her play soccer and do track, so as parents we're not too concerned about the demands it places on us to attend tournaments, meets, games etc. With four kids, three of whom participate in sports and other activities, we are probably over scheduled as a family. But, I don't think it would be fair to my kids to not allow them to participate in activities for the sake of simplifying our life. Which kid would I not allow to participate?

I do feel pressure from well-meaning parents to keep up with demands of soccer; i.e., the best training courses, camps, try-outs for the best teams, etc. For the most part, I haven't given in to it. Some parents have. As an example, there are several kids from her competitive team last year who now drive over an hour to take their girls to "better, more competitive teams" in a bigger city. We won't do that. We also have zero expectation that she earn a college scholarship, which is shockingly a very common expectation among many parents that I've talked to despite the odds against it. The reality here is, however, if you want to play high school sports you have play club sports.

I think sports are a healthy and beneficial way for my kids to spend their time. It develops confidence, promotes a love for physical activity that they will hopefully carry into their adult lives, teaches important life skills such as working as a group to achieve a goal, being on time, how to handle adversity, how to move on after failure, etc. Because my kids enjoy it and I think it's healthy, I will continue to support them in their endeavors even if it means living in my car for the next several years (or longer).

[HouseofWool]

I'm thinking a lot about this as DD7 has fallen in love with gymnastics. She's pretty good considering that it hasn't even been a year. She has firmly stated that she wants to compete. I don't really know. It is a lot of stress on a little body. Currently, she does just one lesson a week, but would be thrilled to do more...

[spotty_dog]

I think what you call Competitive might be what we call Select/Travel, but then beyond that is Regional/Club. We don't have indoor soccer, so winter at least is a season that's soccerless. And our high school sports can't afford to be choosy about players, and they are fed by the rec leagues -- there's actually a whole new movement for the local rec club to provide a seamless development from U6 to high school, and they are working with the high school coaches to make this effective. Our club doesn't even have a select league, we have to go to the bigger clubs north or south to try out. The main thing about Select is the extra intensity, the possibly better-trained coaches, and definitely the higher-level competition.

For us, it's not about denying anyone the chance to participate. I guess I think of it as…prioritizing sane expectations. Everyone can do a sport. Everyone can do karate. Hopefully some day we can tack on music. But sometimes something has to give. DD missed her t-ball game today because there was no other way to get in a karate class. DS gave up his spot on the 3-on-3 soccer tournament team because he wants "a family day" for memorial day weekend. We just can't do it all. But I'm happy we can do something. And over time we can do more, but I figure easy does it when it comes to increasing intensity.

[spotty_dog]

I'm thinking a lot about this as DD7 has fallen in love with gymnastics. She's pretty good considering that it hasn't even been a year. She has firmly stated that she wants to compete. I don't really know. It is a lot of stress on a little body. Currently, she does just one lesson a week, but would be thrilled to do more...

Mine is a surprisingly huge fan of t-ball and stares in awe when we can watch bigger girls play softball. So this may be her sport, although she's game to try soccer again in the fall. I played softball -- I was on the all-star state champion team in junior high, and played on a women's team during high school -- and it could be fun to help her develop, but I've got my fingers crossed she doesn't want to be a pitcher because the more I learn about those stresses on a growing arm the more nervous I get about it all!

[HouseofWool]

I get it. Watching S cartwheel off the end of the full height beam makes me ill! But she loves it so much!

[Pollyanna]

The issue we found with soccer is that once you hit 4th or 5th grade there wasn't any more rec teams to play on. You had developmental, select, or premier. And if you wanted to have even the smallest chance of playing in high school you needed to be on a competitive team. Luckily for us we didn't have any huge soccer lovers so it was okay for our boys to stop playing. But if your kiddo loves soccer it kind of is what it is and it's not all bad, it's not even mostly bad but you do have to make it work for your family. I know lots of families that really love and loved soccer and all that went with it. I would imagine swim is similar to soccer in that you probably have to specialize pretty young but we'd have to have Peggy chime in.

I read an interview with several LAX college coaches and they all talked about how they preferred the athlete that played several sports but wasn't a star in all of them. They liked kids that could ride the bench with a good attitude as well as be a star player. They pointed out how one sport made the players stronger in agility while year round LAX didn't always accomplish that task. This is all true and I'm on board but you will find it a rare high school coach that supports multiple sports. Your kids will pay in some way or another. Interestingly, our most flexible and supportive coaches are the wrestling coaches (and they have something like 15 state titles and most of the kids start in kindergarten). We are giving in to travel LAX this summer because you won't play full time varsity if you don't play summer LAX. And you can put your foot down and say we aren't doing it but your kid has to be on board with that because they are the one that suffers the consequences. And no, there is no one you can talk to, or pay off. I'm just putting this out there because parents often think they have a lot more control than they really do. Once your kid hits high school make sure they can talk and negotiate with the coaches on their own if they are planning on multiple sports.

We've been in both the competitive world of dance and in the ballet world. You can do dance and other sports when your kiddos are young but the more they move up it pretty much becomes an impossibility IF you want to be competing with a good team or if you want to be in a serious ballet studio and part of their company. But, if your kiddo just wants to do a class or two a week its doable until their other sport expects more of their time. We LOVED competitive dance and feel like our kiddos got so much out of it BUT I'm glad dd14 moved to a more ballet focus because competitive dance is so hard on your body and most studios don't emphasize ballet enough so technique is lacking and girls end up injured. dd14 had back problems at 8 when she was dancing competitively. That was fixed once she switched to a ballet/modern focus. Ballet studios are also typically less expensive but if your kiddo wants to get into a top 10 dance college or a professional company you do have to start doing summer intensives, and I would say as early as possible (typically 11 or 12). We made dd stay in town for her first two and let her go away for 3 weeks at 13 and this summer she will be gone for 5 weeks and 11 hours away from us. We've also been told that she has very little chance of making it on a professional company unless she gets into a residential program within the next couple of years. I don't know how true that is and probably isn't something will will pursue. Anyway, yes, the more serious your child gets with dance you will have to specialize, there just won't be time for anything else.

When I say, "there won't be time for anything else" I think parents, especially with young kids, think thats a bad thing. But its really not. Finding, pursuing, and pushing to excel in a passion is a great thing for kids, IF the push comes from within themselves. I tell parents that if their kid really loves something and has a passion for it then it is your job as the parent to facilitate and support that passion. Not to push it, not to be correcting their form, or yelling at them from the stands, but to do the driving, do the pats on the back, do the hugs when they are struggling. If you are doing those things and your kid is wanting to get to the ball field 45 minutes early or the dance studio just simply to be in that environment, or the freezing swimming pool at 5am, it is truly a beautiful and joyous thing. Please don't say, "no way will my kid" or "our family will never do that" until you get there because you really have no idea what your life or your kids life will look like. You have no idea where they will find a passion or where they will excel.

[houseelf]

Two quick comments on the fly.

ITA with Tara that sports is a great way to keep kids busy at a place where I promise even the best of kids need support and direction and a place to go. You really DO become that family.

We have had a HARD time navigating this line. I have one friend who has opted out entirely and several friends who are "ALL IN". (Well they were friends, I haven't seen them in a few years). Our uneasy work arounds: We are in a small district where there is less competition to get a butt on the bench. Some sports have to recruit at our high school. Yes, I'm gaming the system to get my kid the ability to play a sport without having to pay a ton of cash and create a time killer, but there it is. The few select teams we have done have been carefully chosen. Travel lax is May-June. We opt for midseason cheer which is November -March with only four competitions. Obviously, tumbling classes must go year round, but they can be missed. TBH, my kids aren't particularly talented and I'm not the most enthusiastic sports mom. Living "half way" in a life style may just be the most challenging dance.

I truly see the benefit of sports, I'm just not big on executive style schedules at too young an age. Many wonderful, amazing families do this and I'm in awe. For whatever reason, it just never felt right to me. Good luck. This is a perennial conversation in American households.

[SoonerTexan]

Sports specialization

What sucks here is in the larger districts, unless you started at 5 and played clubs teams, you can forget playing a varsity sport. Maybe even JV. That may influence where we choose to settle down.

Only the youngest child in my family got to do the whole club sport thing. We just didn't have the resources when I was younger.

She started with softball at 5, then volleyball was added. Then she focused on volleyball in high school. She was all in. She loved it and her dream was to play on a college team. Travel teams, $5k year team fees, practices out the wazoo. My dad loved it, my mom hated it. I thought it went too far when a mandatory tournament was scheduled on Easter Sunday.

By high school it definitely get to be too much (she's also a national merit scholar and in the top 25 of her class of 800ish, so there was academic pressure too). By junior year she was hating it and having conflict with her teammates and coaches. She was definitely depressed and moody.

Guess who burned out right before the varsity season she had worked so hard for? She quit and hasn't looked back. She is so much happier and I think she wishes she quit earlier.

I'm not saying no way, bur we are going to try and tread carefully.


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[spotty_dog]

Some of these stories make me grateful, again, that we are in such a small community and outside of those high-pressure influences! We definitely continue to have availability of rec leagues and casual play in several sports, right up through elementary and maybe beyond. And the high school coaches definitely don't discourage multisport participation -- I think we're small enough that the coaches simply have to share athletes if they're going to field a team. We have a local blogger who reports on all the high school sports, and the same names come up a LOT in different sports, and if anything, the more sports, the more respect they get from the blogger and from the community. What we don't have is travel lacrosse -- LAX is not a sport that is a thing here.

DS just told me this morning, he "already chose soccer, he just plays other sports too." Which is totally cool with me. He's a scrawny and uncoordinated kid, but he has a huge heart and a ton of hustle and his hard work pays off -- he has improved so much in the last couple of seasons! He loves the strategy of the game. If he can be a reliable player, but not a star, on the high school team -- and also have his black belt in Okinawan Uechi Ryu Karate by then -- we'll all be happy! But I think the way to get there is NOT to limit his cross-training, especially not this early. DD hasn't solidified on a sport, and she may not even be much of a sportsy person, but we have a few years left of doing fall soccer/winter basketball/spring softball and see what grows on her if anything. She is also committed to getting her black belt and we likely won't be sacrificing that in favor of any one sport any time soon.

[alison]

But but but Alison, I know of 2 girls who commute from your island to my daughter's ballet school in the city! I think if there's a ferry involved more than once/week, there's just no way we'd do it.

[spotty_dog]

Right? There is just something about the ferry that makes the trip NOT a casual one. I hear tell of people who commute daily from the mainland to the Waldorf school up here! Or from the middle of the island to the airplane place for work! And a grandma I know spent half of last year driving to Kirkland once or twice a week, to bring her granddaughters up here to our local ballet school, and then drive them back. Say WHA?! But you bring up a good point. To me, the mainland is this foreign place we visit a couple of times per year, usually on the way to the airport. So hearing that travel soccer could mean weekly driving to places like Mercer…it downright gives me hives. That's probably part of why this is a particularly stressful proposition for me.

[MDPhDWife]

This thread is a reminder of why we specifically chose the school district we did when we moved here. Almost all the school districts in our city are 5 or 6 A, we chose a 2A (will be 3A) district. We figured it would be better to have our incoming freshman have an opportunity to play than either ride the bench or worse not make the team at all. Sorta like being a big fish in a little pond vs being a little fish in a big pond.

We did the club soccer thing for one year and the travel and expenses (not to mention the drama) was just too much. Rec leagues were much more our style. I know if it were up to DD, she would do the club and sign up for as many sports as we would allow her. Meanwhile, her grades are skyrocketing now that she has a little more time. It really is a family commitment and with our younger DD not having much interest in sports, made it seem unfair to drag her along for everything.

[OrionGrad]

I did gymnastics exclusively for about 10 years growing up. We drove 2 hours round trip so I could go to the "better" gym in a neighboring town. Practices were 4 nights per week (5 to 8pm) plus weekends during competition season. I eventually got really burned out, and tbh I get stressed just watching gymnastics on tv these days. (Part of that is probably just my personality.)
Anyway, as my boys get older I am going to encourage them NOT to specialize in a sport like I did. I feel like I missed out by not getting to try as many different things. But at the same time, I probably won't stop them if they're dead set on playing a single sport throughout the year, just because I know how angry I would have been if my parents had forced me to take a break from gymnastics before I was ready.

[bokelley]

Sports specialization

I have a skewed view on this. I did competing gymnastic. Started when I was four years old. My family spent thousands of dollars. I trained every single day once I was old enough for at least 3-4 hours a day. I had special permission from the middle school and high school to train during last hour of classes. I spent summers with a host family in Norman Oklahoma so I could train with Bart Connor. I loved it until I didn't. When I couldn't hang out with friends or be a normal kid I was over it. I was 17 before I had ever got to have or go to a sleep over. There was never any time in between practices.
I had two broken clavicle incident. My right shoulder is messed up. I need surgery. My hips hurt and I anytime I have ever had to have a cath, it is a huge order after I nearly broke my vagina after falling on the balance beam.

I think sports are fine for kids as long as they stay fun. Most kids are not going to be pros. All of this work up and for what... I didn't learn anything about team work or commitment that could not have been taught in another setting.