Wedding Gift Ideas -- No Registry

[OrionGrad]

One of DH's good friends from med school is getting married, but we can't make it to the wedding. I'd like to still send a nice gift, maybe around $200 or so, but they're not registered anywhere.
She's an IM resident, he's an optho fellow. They both live in small apartments, in separate cities. Kitchenware seems weird, since they don't have big kitchens. They are both very outdoorsy/adventurous, but I don't know how that translates into a wedding gift.
What would be a good wedding gift in this kind of situation???

[poky]

Hm. Did you ask if they're registered anywhere and they said no?

I might be tempted to do an REI gift certificate, in that situation.

[ides]

Lol Poky. I was thinking REI gift certificate too.

[rufflesanddots]

It's not super personal, but cash or a gift card would be awesome. I assume they're going to move in together either after the wedding or completion of residency/fellowship, so something to help cut the cost of the move could be cool.

Oh, or a gift certificate for a couples massage?! We got one once and it was sort of weird but we still joke about it all the time and remember it fondly.

[OrionGrad]

I texted the groom last night and he said they're not sure if they're going to register anywhere, so I assume that means they're probably not...

I like the REI idea, but I was hoping to avoid a gift card since that seems so impersonal.

[rufflesanddots]

Hm... You said they don't have a large kitchen, but would some cast iron stuff be appropriate? We got an enameled cast iron Dutch oven from my best friend and it's been wonderful!

[poky]

I texted the groom last night and he said they're not sure if they're going to register anywhere, so I assume that means they're probably not...

I like the REI idea, but I was hoping to avoid a gift card since that seems so impersonal.

Hm. How far out is the wedding? I'd give it a little time and ask again later if it's a ways out. If enough people ask, they might bow to the pressure and do it.

[diggitydot]

It may seem impersonal, but in their position, I would think cash would be the most useful gift. They can spend it on camping/outdoors shit or they can use it for anything else.

[OrionGrad]

I think you're right, and I'll hold off in the hopes they do end up registering.
I'm just feeling really guilty about not going. I posted about it here a few months ago, but basically the wedding is on the East Coast the day after DH's residency graduation. We talked to them about finding a way to be there, but ultimately I just don't think we can make it work. So anyway, sending $$ just feels weird in this case, like I'm saying "Sorry we didn't make more of an effort to be at your wedding, but here's $200 instead!" Idk.

[WolfpackWife]

I agree with a gift card of some sort - unless they do end up registering. If you feel badly about not going and also don't want to seem impersonal, you could always split the difference and do half the amount you'd intended as a personal-to-them gift card (a la REI) and half the amount toward a tangible gift that they could use in their new home - kitchen item, decor item, fun outdoorsy item. Some of my favorite off-the-registry gifts we were given were beautiful Pottery Barn picture frames that hold some of our wedding photos. I hadn't thought to register for picture frames, for some reason!

[alison]

I'd say cash! I don't think when people open an envelope and see $200 in it they think "sheesh, so impersonal!" If anything, buying something off someone's registry that THEY pick out for THEMSELVES is impersonal. Just my humble opinion.

[OrionGrad]

Is $200 enough if we do cash or a gift card or does it need to be more?

[rufflesanddots]

More?! Maybe it's my MS1-ness showing, but holy crap $200 is amazingly generous! They will love it.

[OrionGrad]

I just feel badly that we're not going to the wedding, and I'm hoping a good gift will make me feel better. (It's all about ME!! Haha) We could probably find a way to make the flights work, although even in a best case scenario the timing would be super tight, but we'd end up spending around $1,800 just on the trip.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I'm glad you're not going. It seemed like way too much and a good way to ruin residency graduation. But I'm a bitch...