Career change anyone?

[wiva]

When I had my son, I was a sophomore/junior in college. I didn't have a really clear career path, but I needed an income so I chose to leave my university and go to nursing school instead. I have been a nurse for 6 years now, and find myself feeling more and more unhappy. I'm glad I ended up here, it was a good move for when I needed it, but it isn't what I truly am interested in. It isn't what I want to do for the next 30 or 40 years. I have been putting off finishing my BSN because it holds zero interest for me and doesn't get me to an endpoint that I am interested in.

I as browsing our local university's offered majors and realized how badly I want to go back and finish what I started before I had my son. However, unfortunately, they aren't degrees that are offered online. I brought it up with DH when I was particularly frustrated after a bad day at work recently; how frustrated I am, dissatisfied, bored, stagnant. And how badly I want to go back and learn something else, something I'm interested in and passionate about. Of course later when he brought it up I had a whole list of reasons why it couldn't happen, which he agreed were hurdles, but not impossible to overcome. He said he would completely support me if I wanted to go back to school.

However, with him in residency, my income makes up well over half of our household income. With the job I have, I probably wouldn't be able to work part-time, and certainly not with flexible hours. So I'd either have to find a whole new job or quit altogether. If we really trimmed serious fat from our budget and miraculously paid a few things off before I stopped working, we could just barely squeak by on his income, but I would still have to take loans out for tuition. We are also TTC, which I am not willing to put off, so there will be more expenses in the future (though, truthfully, it would be easier to have a baby with me in school than with me working).

I don't know what to do. I vacillate between getting excited that this might be a viable option and realizing that it's much easier and safer to just roll with the momentum I have in the direction that my career has taken me. It's easy to find a job as a nurse, I have experience, I make more money than I would be able to for a while in almost any other field. But I'm just not happy, and I'm tired of spending my days doing something that I don't really love.

Sorry this is long and rambling, I guess I just need to talk it out to myself, too. Any insight, advice, or thoughts are very welcome, though.

[Mrs. MD, Esq.]

I could have written this post...in fact, I have been referencing that I need to write a post but haven't had time to sit down and do it.

It's scary and upsetting to rethink a huge chunk of your life...

No advice (given that I'm going thru something similar and am struggling)!

[spotty_dog]

Well, the tough love is that *most* people don't love their jobs. They do something they can tolerate and that they do well enough to be paid for it, and they collect that paycheck and use it to do something they do love.

However, if the only thing holding you back from making a change that you are totally passionate about and that makes your heart sing is the fear of the unknown and worries about money -- then here is your gentle nudge into the brink! You can do it, go get 'em!!

Perhaps you can start by cutting back enough to live off of his income starting immediately. Move if you need to decrease your rent, trim the fat as you say and get some things paid off, and then start putting your check into savings. It'll give you a buffer for unexpected expenses once you're not working, especially baby expenses. It should take a few months at least for your application to go through, right? Baby steps. Every move in the right direction will get you closer to where you want to go.

[oceanchild]

In my experience, decent online courses are actually more work than in-person ones. I think taking classes on campus is a better option. Plus, in-state tuition is awesome.

Can you find a nursing job that's only a few days a week? It seems like there are lots of those out there. Consolidate your work hours, keep the income, only take classes on certain days. I don't know if that would actually work, but I like it in theory.

How much longer is residency? Would it make more sense to tough it out with nursing until he's done and then use some of his attending money to go back to school?

Just a few options to play with. I'm currently taking one grad school class while working and raising a kid, and it feels like it's the thing that puts me over the edge a lot of the time, but I'm really close to finishing the degree and really want it done.

[Ladybug]

It sounds like you have enough nursing experience to agency nurse. It's not ideal, I hated it, but for his year of fellowship it paid $43/hour for two 12s per week. You can work any education program around that. Go for it! It's totally doable, but you're going to spend a lot time away from your family earning necessary income and studying for school. You're kids are young and will rebound.

How long do you have for residency vs. starting an educational program? Sometimes it makes sense to wait it out a bit longer.

[wiva]

Well, the tough love is that *most* people don't love their jobs. They do something they can tolerate and that they do well enough to be paid for it, and they collect that paycheck and use it to do something they do love.

However, if the only thing holding you back from making a change that you are totally passionate about and that makes your heart sing is the fear of the unknown and worries about money -- then here is your gentle nudge into the brink! You can do it, go get 'em!!

Perhaps you can start by cutting back enough to live off of his income starting immediately. Move if you need to decrease your rent, trim the fat as you say and get some things paid off, and then start putting your check into savings. It'll give you a buffer for unexpected expenses once you're not working, especially baby expenses. It should take a few months at least for your application to go through, right? Baby steps. Every move in the right direction will get you closer to where you want to go.

I keep telling myself that (about people not loving their jobs), but then I argue with myself that it's ridiculous to spend our life toiling away at something you don't enjoy if it's possible not to have to do that.

We have been saving a lot. Our credit card is paid off and we can put about 1/4 of our income in savings now, which is feeling great! I don't think I'd be able to start until Fall of 2015 at this point, anyway, so I have some time to think it through. I just don't really know how to think it through, which sounds weird.

[wiva]

Can you find a nursing job that's only a few days a week? It seems like there are lots of those out there. Consolidate your work hours, keep the income, only take classes on certain days. I don't know if that would actually work, but I like it in theory.

How much longer is residency? Would it make more sense to tough it out with nursing until he's done and then use some of his attending money to go back to school?

Just a few options to play with. I'm currently taking one grad school class while working and raising a kid, and it feels like it's the thing that puts me over the edge a lot of the time, but I'm really close to finishing the degree and really want it done.

I probably could, but with the higher level classes there aren't a huge variety for time options. I tried to see if they'd look at my old transcripts and give me an idea of what I still need to take, but they said they'd only do that if I was accepted. We have at least 2.5, probably 3.5 years here still. We are probably moving after that, and I don't know where we will end up or if we will end up near a university.

[PrincessFiona]

I have btdt and I would encourage you to explore your options. I finished a MA degree when my husband was doing a fellowship. We sort of lived off of the financial aid and are still paying it back. I felt a lot like you do though about finding something that I loved and pursuing it. It was worth it to me. Fast forward 15 years and after working with my degree I had been at home again as a sahm for many years. It was hard finding a job in that field and I was feeling pulled in another direction. My dh was actually supportive of me pursuing another degree. I know I'm very lucky. I'm working on a different Master's degree now.

It's so much easier now that he is finished with training and has been out for a few years. He is able to support me as I take classes and help out with the kids. It makes for a much smoother and easier transition to being a student. It's the only reason I've been successful.

I'd suggest applying for the degree program. Once you're in, have them figure out how many courses you need to take. You'll be able to figure it out from there whether or not you can complete the degree before moving. If you can't, having a University nearby might be one of your requirements when you move. If you can't find a more flexible job, consider taking out some financial aid to get you through. (Of courses that has to be paid back ... )

Good Luck!!!

[oceanchild]

I probably could, but with the higher level classes there aren't a huge variety for time options. I tried to see if they'd look at my old transcripts and give me an idea of what I still need to take, but they said they'd only do that if I was accepted. We have at least 2.5, probably 3.5 years here still. We are probably moving after that, and I don't know where we will end up or if we will end up near a university.

Have you decided on a degree? Can you finish it in 2-3 years?

[wiva]

Have you decided on a degree? Can you finish it in 2-3 years?

I have narrowed it down to a few. I think I could finish them in 2-3 years. I left college as a junior pursuing a similar degree, but the university won't look at my old transcripts to tell me what my old credits will transfer as and how many classes I would still need (unless I'm admitted).

[oceanchild]

That's annoying. Can you find an advisor for one of the programs to look over your transcript and give you an idea at least? Make it clear that you know the university gets the official final say, but that you just want to get a rough idea. I think that's what I would try. I would hate for you to get in, start the degree, and then have to move before you've finished.